Joel has never quit.

As a child, he conquered every sport that he put his mind to, but adolescent leukemia interrupted those pursuits. Joel was one of the first patients to be taken to bone marrow transplant while in relapse and went on to conquer leukemia too. His biggest challenge over the last few decades has been managing the effects that 1980s chemotherapy and radiation protocols left on his body. Back then our scientists and physicians knew how to get rid of the cancer, but often with the devastating and lasting effect on the rest of the body.

Along the way, Joel has had grand adventures traveling the US and internationally, training world class surgeons on the use of spinal medical devices, and building highly regarded fly rods by hand in his own workshop in Bozeman, Montana. He joyfully embraced the love of his life and brought her into the arms of our family. Together Joel & Lindsey have given the world three incredible children (and two hilarious golden retrievers). Joel & Lindz are the kind of people who were meant to be parents. Their patience, insight, strength, and gentle nurturing, inspire us all every day.

The reverberating effects of adolescent cancer treatment continue to plague Joel. He carries more pain every day than most of us could imagine and nonetheless rises every morning to shower his friends and family with love and support. The last year brought his kidneys to a new low and he is currently in end stage renal failure (ENRF), and receives peritoneal dialysis every night. His kids call it his ‘hook up’; a great example of his ability to help others understand, even frightening things, in a way that they can comprehend and embrace.

Joel gives everything to his family and friends, but he’s one of those people who would never ask for anything for himself. In this way, he is an echo of his father who would be so proud of Joel for never giving up. So it falls to us to rally around Joel this time.

Joel’s site and these words are coming from his big sister. I was his bone marrow transplant donor thirty-five years ago and we were fortunate to be a perfect 6/6 HLA typing match. A rarity especially in a family with just two children. We have spent the last eight months in testing to try to give him one of these perfectly matched kidneys too, but in October 2025 the transplant committee at the Mayo Clinic in Arizona decided that it was too much of a risk to my health to allow me to be a living kidney donor. Their decision is not open to appeal and we were crushed by the news.

So we are reaching out to the people who love Joel, to old and new friends, to family far and wide, and perhaps even to the stranger who finds themselves reading these words. Joel is in every way a force for good in this world. He thinks deeply, speaks carefully, loves with the power of a thousand suns, and hugs you tight like it’s the most important thing he has ever done.

In the daylight, Joel is riven with pain that he makes every effort to smile through, not wanting to burden those around him. At night, the peritoneal dialysis that keeps his body going also keeps him awake with noises and jolts to the body that feel like punches. It’s time to shake every tree we can find to see if we can locate a kidney donor for Joel.

Living kidney donors receive an astounding amount of support as they are evaluated for donation. While they do serious things at the Mayo Clinic in Arizona, our family has come to call the it medical Disneyland. Every single member of staff is as warm and supportive as your favorite aunt, the hotel is on campus and you ride around in golf carts and shuttles, the waking paths are peaceful and rejuvenating. The team that evaluates living donors protects their physical and mental health just as fiercely as Joel’s team protects him.

You don’t have to be a match for Joel in order to donate a kidney. You don’t even have to match his blood type. The national transplant programs now do what are called paired or chain donations. If just one person donates a kidney in Joel’s name, he gets the next available kidney that matches him, sparing him the long and constantly changing wait on a transplant list that already has hundreds of thousands of names waiting with the priorities continually fluctuating depending on need.

I’ve spent a lot of time in the living donor evaluation process and I am here for you to help you with questions and concerns. I can share information with you and guide you to professional resources for you and your family as you consider being evaluated as a living donor. The first step is a simple online inquiry and then a short questionnaire so the transplant team can begin to understand your current health and evaluate you for donation. Living donors are carefully and kindly protected. There is no pressure in any way and a donor may stop the evaluation process at any time.

Perhaps the most beautiful thing we can give the world is children to carry our love forward. I’m convinced that the second most beautiful thing we may do is to donate an organ and choose to save a life.

Thank you for coming here to learn more about Joel and our search for a kidney. I hope to hear from you and have the opportunity to start answering your questions.

With love,

Joel’s Big Sis

[You can reach me directly at paigemcafee (at) gmail (dot) com]

A Kidney for Joel

Joel has never quit.

Contact us for more information

Joel has never quit.

Contact us for more information

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